Sometimes events can happen in our lives that change the very way we view the world or how we choose to show up. This could be an emotional loss of any kind and without awareness and resolution these loses can rob of us of energy and steal our joy. But what about an event that few of us have ever experienced? Stress, overwhelm, and anxiety are currently off the charts and yet few recognize the pandemic experience could be at the root of this unrest.
Let me begin with what grief is:
- the normal and natural reaction to an emotional loss of any kind.
- the conflicting feelings when there is a change in something that was familiar.
- about the things that we wished had been better, different, or more.
- about our unrealized hopes, dreams, and expectations.
- about the unsaid communications
Like any grieving experience the pandemic is personal, it will be different for each of us. Over the past four years you may have found an internal battle that includes loneliness, empowerment, confusion, clarity, frustration, terror, and alienation. For many there can be discomfort, perhaps a disengagement, a waiting for things to return to normal, or even feelings life can no longer continue. We may find ourselves pulling away from everything we know resulting in even further feelings of isolation. We are left alone in our experience and in the cumulative emotions, without the tools to process what shows up. This is grief!
And the pandemic has created an entirely new grieving experience. I have found those who already were at capacity with unresolved emotions reached their tipping point over the past few years.
The Pandemic checked off ALL the boxes:
- loss of friends, family, and health
- changes in our familiar
- things we wished had been better
- the loss of dreams and expectations
- unsaid communications
Let’s Visit Australia They were in lockdown for 285 days! I cannot even begin to understand how this might affect emotions and mental health.
What about those labeled non-essential workers? Can you imagine taking pride in your work, enjoying being of service to others, having a purpose too suddenly, without any warning, being told you were no longer needed. Your services were considered non-essential, unimportant, not necessary! And in a moment, those deemed nonessential lost their livelihood, self-esteem, and their reason for getting up in the morning.
It does not matter what side of the pandemic narrative you sit families were broken, friendships abandoned, careers lost, dreams crushed, travel restricted, and freedoms lost. We all experienced loss of one kind or another and we were never allowed to speak about our difference of options. People were silenced and therefore it only stands to reason that there will be things that remain unsaid. We are all suffering loss and many of us are not even aware.
Since grief is a normal and natural reaction; the feelings you and I have following a loss are also normal and natural. But we do what we have been taught, that is to bury our emotions, to isolate, to replace the loss, to be strong for others, to stay busy, and to wait for time to mend our broken heart.
There is far too much to cover in a blog and so I would like to invite you to listen to my 8-part video series (links found at the end of this blog) where I unpack this topic in more detail. My intention is to offer clarity regarding the definition of grief; to break down how the 5 possible causes of grief could be tied to the pandemic experience; and to challenge a deeper exploration of what could be driving our anxiety, depression, and lack of energy
Could there be a hidden, unknown reason for our emotional overload and feeling we have reached the breaking point?
Could we be grieving on a global level? Each of us is being affected differently by our own personal experience.
To mend our broken hearts, we must step away from who is right and who is wrong. Why? Because once we choose a side, we form a point of view and that becomes a part of who we are. We feel a need to defend this point of view, and this can prevent healing from happening. You see our heart just wants to be heard and it wants to complete the experience on an emotional level.
If you are feeling anxious, depressed, overwhelmed, or hopeless there could be a very good chance you are holding onto unresolved emotions regarding the pandemic. By identifying and processing these unresolved emotions you can set this emotional burden down.
Is all this inner work worth it? It is! If we are seeking an inner sense of peace. This is a personal journey and one where there is no room for superiority or judgment. We learn how to be accountable for our own actions and to become disengaged without judgement, understanding and allowing others to find their own way in their own time. THIS is grief recovery!
Where to find the “Grief and the Pandemic” Video Series
Video #1 of 8: Introducing the video series
https://www.facebook.com/tammy.adams.iu/videos/999656828365197
Video #2 of 8: and emotional loss of any kind
https://www.facebook.com/tammy.adams.iu/videos/441637355439048
Video #3 of 8: the conflicting feelings resulting from change
https://www.facebook.com/tammy.adams.iu/videos/780552390770615
Video #4 of 8: better different, or more
https://www.facebook.com/tammy.adams.iu/videos/1899359057154795
Video #5 of 8: unrealized hopes, dream, and expectations
https://www.facebook.com/tammy.adams.iu/videos/501471912225306
Video #6 of 8: things left unsaid
https://www.facebook.com/tammy.adams.iu/videos/3740800412828774
Video #7 of 8: abstract grief
https://www.facebook.com/tammy.adams.iu/videos/1116595222744388
Video #8 of 8: wrap up
https://www.facebook.com/tammy.adams.iu/videos/1015149736788444
Please feel free to share these links with someone you know who might benefit from what has been discussed.
Tammy Adams, Certified Coach Practitioner offering support, in-person or online, Canada-wide.
She is certified in The Grief Recovery Method®, Personality Dimensions™, Reiki, Access Bars®, and Mindfulness. To learn more about the services she offers, book a 20-minute free phone consult, or visit her service tab on her website at http://tadams.ca/