The Power of Pause & Reflect

posted in: Grief Recovery 0

In a society where we have been conditioned to believe we must “play the cards we have been dealt” it can be difficult to see we do have a choice and change is possible.  While change may involve a personal investment of time and money, taking charge of our own well being is one of the most empowering things we can do for ourselves.

It takes courage to take charge of our future.  While we are submersed in the healing process it can be easy to overlook the progress we have made.  We must intentionally pause and reflect; celebrate how far we have come.  This pause IS as important as the healing itself.

When our bodies are not working properly the added strain can weigh us down.  We can feel exhausted, fatigued, hopeless, and angry.  One issue layers upon another, continuously building towards a crescendo.

We may not know exactly what is causing our restlessness, our need for change, but there is a driving force within which is no longer willing to accept the status quo.  Much like a steam kettle, with a cork in the spout, our internal pressure continues to build until it can no longer be ignored.  But then, where do we go for help?

Many of us look for someone else to solve our problems for us.  Why?  Because it is what we have been taught to do.  We have been conditioned to believe our personal well being is the responsibility of the government, our insurance company, etc.  We reach for services which are included in our coverage, willing to believe these paid services will meet our personal needs.  We access them because they are free.

For example: How many, reading this article, have massage coverage and only access the services of an RMT near the end of the fiscal year, wanting to use the coverage before it runs out?  Using up our benefits is not the purpose of the coverage.  It is intended to be used throughout the year to manage stress and detox overworked and strained muscles as they arise.

The same is true when we are looking for a service or a practitioner who can support us through our personal challenges.  In the early part of my adult life, I did not have any paid benefits or coverage.  I paid out of pocket I needed to access a service.  Because of this experience, I have always been more open minded and willing to pay for the services I require.  This has resulted in a freedom to align what I need most at any particular time, a choice typically “paid benefits” does not offer.

Our physical, emotional, and spiritual challenges can be many.  When we are personally paying for services, we can place a higher level of pressure on ourselves and our practitioner to see instantaneous results. It took time to get to the position we find ourselves in and immediate results, quick fixes, are rarely the case.

In our goal-centred world we have been trained to look down the path, to focus on where we are going, and we are seldom encouraged to pause and look at how far we have come.  Our conditions did not happen overnight and it would be rare to see them disappear quickly.

Looking too far down the path can be discouraging; It can feel hopeless.  We may even consider giving up.  However, when we press the pause button, we are able to critically look at our progress.  We can see how far we have come.  And it gives us time to reflect and celebrate the critical steps we’ve taken towards success.

When we pause and reflect, our path looks different.  Perhaps we have not noticed the inches we are no longer carrying, in spite of a scale which never changes.  Perhaps we have not noticed our increased running stamina, in spite of not having reached the final marathon marker.

Look in the mirror, do you look different?  How are your clothes fitting?  Are you sleeping better?  Do you have more energy?  Is your stress level shifting?  Are you gaining traction on your measurable goals?

We all face different challenges in our lifetime. Comparing our situation to another, or expecting someone else to take care of us, is futile.  If your benefits provide what you need, absolutely take the opportunity to access them. However, do not give away your power by expecting someone else to take care of you.  Choose to take charge of your own health.  Choose services which suit you and your situation.  Remember to take a moment, every so often, to notice and celebrate the progress you have made.  This pause and reflect will increase your motivation, ensure your commitment, and improve your personal success. 

Tammy Adams is a Certified Coach Practitioner & Grief Recovery Method Specialist supporting individuals Canada-wide in person or via the Internet.  To learn more about The Grief Recovery Method please visit or contact Tammy for a free consultation.