In this guest blog I am sharing the wisdom of Grief Recovery Specialist, Steve Moeller, from The Grief Recovery Institute. I hope you find this blog helpful.
To say that people are uncomfortable with grief is an understatement!
Sit back, for a moment, and think about the times in your life when you were feeling sad and tried to share your how you were feeling with others. You may have had a few occasions where a friend or family member would simply listen, without analysis, criticism or judgement. More often than not, however, you likely had that person try to give you seemingly logical reasons not to feel bad, tell you about someone else that they thought had an even worse situation or told you that you “need to get over it!”
While those that listened allowed you to express and even release some of that emotional pain, did the others, who tried to talk you out of that pain help you feel better on any level? The chances are that you walked away from that latter experience with a feeling that no one really understood (or even cared to understand) the true emotional pain of your broken heart.
Worse yet, they may have offered you a label for your pain, such as “complicated grief,” “cumulative grief” or even elements of “post traumatic stress disorder,” to name but a very few. The sad thing is that in offering you a label, they have simply branded your grief, rather than offering you an effective mechanism for moving out from under that cloud that was hanging over your heart. Sadly, these labels often leave people feeling powerless to take any recovery action, rather than helping them on any level.
Most of us have very little formal education on how to handle grief. Most of what we learned as children was gathered from watching how the adults around us tried to deal with their pain of emotional loss. Since they, likewise, had no formal education concerning how to deal with their grief, they were struggling as well. In many cases, they tried to cope by burying that pain in their heart and never talking about it. That did not make the pain go away, rather it just took away from them the ability to truly feel happy.
There is a better answer to this problem that impacts everyone. That is the focus of The Grief Recovery Institute and The Grief Recovery Method. Our goal is to assist people in taking effective action to recover from the emotional pain of loss. This simply concept that recovery is even a possibility is something that most people do not realize is available to them. Best of all, taking this action does not require years of intensive therapy, but can be accomplished in very short order with the tools spelled out in “The Grief Recovery Handbook.” Unlike most other books on grief and loss, this book speaks to your heart, rather than your head: in essence, it is a road map to taking recovery action that can work for everyone, no matter the loss they experienced.
Rather than simply telling you to buy this book or to look for a Certified Grief Recovery Specialist to assist you on this journey, we have created an E-Book, that you can read for free that talks about grief, the many labels given to it, and how to effectively take recovery action. “Exploring How Others Try To Define Grief” is available to you by just clicking on the title.
Please do not let unresolved grief take away the possibility of true joy in your life! Most of us have no concept of the power it holds over us, because we have lived with it for so long. When I first became involved with the Grief Recovery Method, it was with the thought of helping others. It was not until I really started reading “The Grief Recovery Handbook,” and doing the recovery work that I hoped to use to help others, that I began to see how my own personal grief, that I had always downplayed, was impacting my own ability to find joy in my life and those around me. I took those steps over 35 years ago and they made an enormous difference in my life. Please take a little time out of your day to read this E-Book and learn how it can make a difference for you and those you love.
It is never too late to take recovery action.
Thoughts from Tammy: As a footnote to Steve’s article I took have taken the steps described in The Grief Recovery Method program and like Steve I was shocked and surprised to see how much pain I had pushed down inside of me. Today I experience a level of inner peace that I did not think was possible. After living a lifetime on stress overload I was relieved to be able to identify the sources of my pain and to access a proven way to let it go.
Tammy Adams loves to problem solve, inspire and motivate others who are ready and committed to change. Tammy has spent over 30 years in the field of education and as a Certified Life and Executive Coach Tammy teaches individuals to challenge and conquer their limiting beliefs and insecurities to create the life of their choosing. As a Grief Recovery Method Specialist Tammy understands that unresolved grief can limit an individual’s capacity for happiness and is gifted at supporting individuals through the pain and isolation cause by an emotional loss, of any kind, to a place of happiness they believed no longer existed. Tammy’s clients say, “Tammy helped me unpack the baggage and put a smile on my face in the process. It’s a rare quality for someone to fully listen without judgement but yet still steer you in the right direction.”